Life After Weight Loss Surgery

Festival of Lights

2008-11-23T14:23:00.002-06:00

We went downtown last night to the Festival of Lights with my friend Colleen, her son, and nieces. Several times last night I was thankful for all of the weight I have lost.

First, the train was packed and we crammed in to make us all fit. We wouldn't have been able to sit together had I still been large.

Walking would have been a major problem with all the weight.

Running to get to our train home - even though we missed it - wouldn't have been possible had I not lost the weight.

This year I am thankful for gastric bypass and that the insurance company approved me so quickly to have it done, and thankful for all the tools the surgery gave me to lose all this weight. I am thankful to have my health in better shape and that I am able to participate in fun, family events that I couldn't and wouldn't have tried before.

Halloween

2008-11-08T21:31:00.005-06:00

Shelby was Dorothy from Wizard of Oz... her costume was first. I wanted to keep the theme (yeah- you know me and themes) so I went with the wicked witch - or was it a sexy witch??? This is my version of oz, OK? I found a lion costume for DJ, but he refused to portray cowardly, and the tin man costume was like $200! So he was a pirate. A dorothy, a witch and a pirate.... hmmm...

Anyways, went trick or treating in our neighborhood and we received lots of comments. People were impressed that mom and dad dressed up too. It was a lot of fun! Here are pics.

Sorry...

2008-11-08T21:25:00.002-06:00

It's been so long since I've blogged... honestly I have been a bit depressed and my health has not been good. Thankfully though, both are under control again.

I joined facebook last night and have been re-connecting with people from Discover, high school and other various places. Its pretty neat to see pictures of what people look like now compared to how they looked in HS. Makes me wish I had kept in contact with more people. Anyways, lots of fun. If you have facebook, can I be your friend? LOL

Weight Loss - was down to 163 at my lowest, as of this morning, I weighed 169! Ummm... thinking the numbers are going in the wrong direction? I am able to tolerate much more now than before. I am drinking TOO much soda which is stopping immediately, and with Shelby's Halloween candy - let's just say, whatever a 2-year old can't or shouldn't eat, mommy has been eating. Enough already!! I didn't go through ALL of this to turn around, stretch my pouch out, and gain weight back. I need to pay attention to what I am intaking, how much, and most importantly, now that my health is under control again, EXERCISE! WOAH - me and that word do not get along!! But - somehow I have to fit it into my daily schedule. I thought working with 7 kids all under 3 would be exercise enough, but it's not and I have to face that.

So - I will be focusing on creating an exercise routine. Still - exercise or not - I am going to need a boob job. Bought a new bra - 36A!!!! OMG - before breast reduction in my early 20's, I was 38DDD; before gastric bypass I was a 52D. 36A is like non-existent!!

Dj lost his job

2008-08-21T10:25:00.002-05:00

Last Friday, DJ was let go from work. He received 2 weeks severence and was paid out for his unused PTO. However, all benefits including health ended that day at midnight. Scarey!

DJ is actively looking for a new position and has applied for unemployment. He has been helping out at daycare, though we have had a slow week this week. He is actually considering staying home and helping out with daycare so that we can take the max. amount of children that I will be licensed for (8). I alone cannot take 8 because the more children under 2 you have, the less total children you can have. But with two providers, you can take the max of 8 regardless of age.

This would give me the opportunity to start a preschool program here in the morning, while DJ spent time with the younger children in the other room. Its also better to have two sets of eyes, ears, and hands with the children, especially when going outside, for walks, during meal times, etc... I had been considering taking on a partner or hiring an employee, but the benefits to doing that seemed to outweigh the costs of it.

It would mean we would need private insurance, which we are looking into and have applied for now. It would mean we are both locked into the family room; if Shelby gets sick we can't leave to take her to the Dr. We would have to take her to walk-in clinic after hours. It would mean (from what I can tell) we would mak the same amount of money as we were when he was working at Edstrom, we could get rid of the second car and the car insurance and the gas to fuel the car.

So - pending our research into this further and the tax implications, DJ might become Daddy Daycare! LOL

Volleyball anyone?

2008-08-21T10:16:00.002-05:00

So - I cannot even tell you how many years it has been since I've played volleyball. I vaguely remember playing after high school with my mom at her work league, but I don't think that was too long after high school.

A few weekends ago, Grandma Bielawa from Arizona was in for a visit and DJ, Shelby and I went out to the cottage for an all-day visit. Two things eventful happened:

One: I went swimming in the camps swimming pool! I never would have even considered wearing a suit before in front of Turner Camp people. These are my in-laws friends and people that were invited to my wedding and baby shower. No way Jose! But I proudly put on my new suit (size 10) and went down to the pool, lose skin and all. No shame!

Two: We played sand volleyball (5 people to a team) and played 3 games - my team won 2!!! I tried to get a picture of me playing to prove that I really did play, I will post that here later on. Not that great of a pic!

It's so nice to be out enjoying life again, instead of hiding behind big clothes and excess weight.

Dreaded Asthma

2008-07-27T22:06:00.005-05:00

(Uncle KC and Shelby)

Since I quit smoking when I found out we were pregnant with Shelby, I haven't really had to use my inhaler much. So little in fact, that the inhalers expire before I ever need to use them.

End of June I got sick with an upper respiratory (a wonderful con of running a daycare) and ever since then, my asthma has spiraled out of control!

I can honestly say that having an asthma attack is one of the scariest things to happen to me. Not only does it feel like I am suffocating, but it feels like there is a MACK truck sitting on my chest and I just can't get it off so that I can take in a breath.

Its so bad right now that I have been giving myself breathing treatments several times a day as well as taking steroids. I went to walk in clinic last monday to get the steroids, and then I went to the ER Friday Am because I couldn't get through an attack on my own. They gave me IV steroids, magnesium, and an hour long breathing treatment. He wanted to admit me, but me being me, figured I would get more rest at home than at a hospital and quite frankly, all I wanted to do was sleep and chill out.

I can't sleep - I have a horrible dry cough - and it feels like someone is squeezing me around my chest really hard. I hate that I have asthma and I feel sorry for the young children out there that have it and can't help themselves as well as I can. Its a scarey disease to have.

More food for thought

2008-07-27T21:58:00.004-05:00

Been very busy with school, daycare and family that I haven't had much time to think about my success.

Friday marked 1 year since I had gastric bypass surgery. Down 155 lbs, I feel better than I have in years and have no regrets with having the surgery.

I was doing laundry tonight thinking about how easy it has been doing laundry lately. I mean, it doesn't take me as long because there aren't as many loads to do, and its easier to put away. But why the change? I still do laundry once a week - though now its a different day usually. I still wear work clothes and play clothes even though I work from home (scrubs for daycare). Nothing has changed with DJ.

Maybe because my clothes have gotten smaller, they take up less space. Thus creating LESS piles of laundry, allowing me to do laundry faster and put it away faster!

Another PRO of having surgery and getting my health under control!

(Picture is Shelby doing the sign for (and making the sounds for) - M O N K E Y!)

New Haircut

2008-06-12T20:53:00.005-05:00

OK - I did it! Cut it all off. Here are the pics!

Do I dare to touch my hair?

2008-06-03T13:51:00.003-05:00

DJ likes longer hair - one of the things he told me when we first started chatting online, then on the phone. He hasn't really said one way or another since then (10 years), but I have this image in my head that I need to keep longer hair to be sexy to my husband.

But I notice lately he isn't looking at my hair - he's looking at my butt, my breasts, my legs, my eyes... WOOHOO for me - I AM SEXY to my husband!!

So - time to completely change my hairdo!!! I have to go get my highlights and lowlights done why not do something fun with my hair? My appt. is Thursday and I have been spending a lot of time thinking about different hairstyles and what to do.

I have been a fat girl for a long time, I used my hair to hide behind. So lets cut it off! I havent changed my color since beauty school - but it's a nice color and fits my skin tone well. I throw my hair up everyday - even on the weekends. What's the point if you can't see it?

So - I am doing it, totally just convinced myself to do it. Wonder what I will choose? Pics coming...

Upcoming Wedding

2008-06-03T13:46:00.002-05:00

We have two weddings to attend in June - the Hain's youngest daughter, Jamie this Saturday and Dawn and John at the end of the month. Obviously, I had nothing that fit so a shopping trip was in order.

I found one dress at Dress Barn - size 14 - but I have mixed opinions on it. I think the pattern on it throws some people. So I found another dress at Coldwater Creek (is this my new favorite store?) that is a size 14, chocolate brown - a sort of empire waist, a line skirt. This is the dress I will wear to the weddings.

Now - I had no idea what type or color of shoes I would need for this dress. I haven't worn anything other than flats in like 10 + years. My husband is taller than me by maybe an inch or two, so I don't want to be too tall, but the idea of something sexy with a slight heal sounded a lot of fun to me.

One of my daycare kids father's suggested gold strappy spiked low heels. *laugh* That should be easy enough to find huh? Several stores later I decided on borrowing shoes from mom. Hey - it means no more running around looking for shoes and a little less off my plate this week - so why not. Still... wondering where else I could have looked without paying a fortune.

Size 12 BABY!

2008-06-03T13:40:00.002-05:00

I haven't had time to post, but went clothes shopping for myself at the outlet mall and I fit into and purchased size 12 Coldwater Creek jeans! They aren't loose in any way, but I am still able to sit and bend over and be active in them. DJ likes them - he stares at my butt I noticed *giggle*. I had just purchased the same jeans in size 14 two weeks before and they were already starting to get loose, even after washing them. I don't think realistically I could go down any more pant sizes than 12 - I mean, can I?

realization

2008-05-14T19:33:00.002-05:00

I should NOT wear sleeveless or short sleeve shirts. I should NOT wear a swimsuit or shorts. I should not wear shirts that don't come ALL the way down. These things will not change with the more weight I lose - they will get worse. The loose skin under my arms resembles wings - a few more pounds and I should be able to take flight - where should I go?

I know all of these things, but at the same time, I knew going into the surgery that I would have loose skin. And yes, there are things that can be done (with a lot of $$), but we want to have another child and I won't have any surgeries to fix things until after Austin is born *crosses her fingers*... meanwhile - I have come to the realization that I DON'T CARE! I finally don't have to hide under extra large clothes, or long pants in 90 + degree weather, or a jacket over a short sleeved shirt because I am hiding inside my clothes. I have lost 140 lbs so far and I look better than I have in 14 years - I have more energy, more ambition, more confidence and I intend to wear short sleeve shirts and a swimsuit and shorts.... I doubt I will wear a sleeveless dress though - I mean - usually a formal event, I don't want to take flight during someone's wedding nuptials.

I was able to see a surgery buddy of mine's before and after pics in bra and panties and I realized that we have the same loose skin in the same spots. I imagine all of us post ops do. Thank God I am not alone in this journey and that I have people who are willing to share with me their experience so I don't feel like such a freak.

Bike Ride

2008-05-14T10:04:00.005-05:00

I finally got DJ to put air in my bike tires and I picked up his bike from his parents. Then we went out and bought a child bike seat (after lots of research on trailers and seats) and last night for the first time in say... 10 years... we went for a bike ride!!! I thought I was going to be sore and have a hard time, especially since the child seat was installed on my bike... but it was fun and I did really well!

I thought we would just drive once around the subdivision, but we drove around ours, and BOTH of the ones adjacent to ours!

So the plan now is to have dinner ready when DJ gets home from work, then go for a bike ride each night. This counts as exercise and hopefully it will help the loose skin on my legs and lower back. GO TEAM WEISS!

140 down!!

2008-04-30T14:00:00.002-05:00

Today I got on the scale and expected nothing - I mean the weight loss has dramatically slowed down, as expected. 193!! That means I am down 140 lbs and feeling terrific.

We went to meet Shelby's new pediatrician yesterday and she asked about DJ and I's medical history - of course, nothing really for DJ, but for me there is a long list. When I mentioned that I am 9 months post op gastric bypass, her eyeballs about popped out of her head! She couldn't believe that I had been so heavy and that I had lost so much weight so fast. It was very flattering that a Dr. would be so amazed with my success! BTW - love the new pediatrician and its so close to home. Part of Children's Memorial which to me, is better than Aurora Medical Center. Very happy. Next step for transferring doctors is to meet DJ and I's new dentist. UGH - I hate dentists - they always want to drill on my mouth.

Fun stuff.

2008-04-18T10:03:00.002-05:00

We bought tickets to go see Elmo Makes Music at Rosemont Theatre on Mothers Day! Shelby had such a wonderful time at the circus and she behaved so well in her booster seat, we thought we would try our luck again. Although she is really into the Backyardigans right now, she still sleeps with her Elmo and she still likes Elmo on Sesame Street. Hopefully, she will enjoy it as much as we will enjoy watching her! Happy Mother's Day!

Still a woman...

2008-04-18T10:02:00.001-05:00

BTW - I still have my period and its now been 4 or 5 weeks. Its not a steady flow and its not strong enough for a tampon on most days, but still there none the less. When should I contact my OBGYN about it? When is it not normal?

Jiggle and shake...

2008-04-18T09:53:00.002-05:00

My dr. said that because of my age, my skin should bounce back after a dramatic weight loss. I am here to tell you - it just isn't so! There are two places: my upper arms (under side) and my inner thighs. You'd think that these two places would be discreet and that no one other than my husband will see it. WRONG! What about short sleeves? Each day I wear scrubs (the kind nurses wear) for my daycare attire and each day when I raise my arms to do whatever (singing and dancing, SOO big, TA-DA!, etc...) I feel my underarm wings flapping around. Also, the stretch marks have gotten darker so that it appears like I have a huge cluster of blackheads!! Its absolutely disgusting. My inner thighs are terrible! I was running the other day and I felt areas jiggling that haven't jiggled and SHOULDN'T be jiggling! It was gross and strange. So how do I fix it?

EXERCISE! I need to desperately start an official, REAL routine! But how? Daycare runs 6:30 - 5:30 PM, then I have to clean-up, do dishes, make dinner, clean-up, do dishes, spend time with DJ and Shelby, do paperwork, do homework, go grocery shopping, work on menus, check and send emails, work on my licensing, etc... I usually go to bed around 10 PM or so completely exhausted to turn around and do it all again the next day. My to do list gets longer and longer and it feels like I am running out of time. I wanted to start home daycare so that I can spend more quality time with my daughter and ensure she is getting the best care possible - but am I really achieving what I set out to do? Then - to try to fit exercise into it all? Where? Yes - I have more energy than I have had in years and I get a lot of exercise running around after toddlers and infants all day and cleaning and doing and going all day - but its not steady, formal, weight lifting, toning type exercise. *sigh* I wonder how expensive it is to clone myself?

Pool season is coming and although I am looking forward to buyng a much smaller swimsuit, I know that it will still have to be a swimdress to cover what I can of the nasty areas. And who do I really want to see me that way? I want to take Shelby to a waterpark and go down slides and tubing and such... but who am I kidding? I am not exposing all that!

Seems to me I should be happy that I've lost so much weight and be proud of my new healthier body, instead of ashamed and embarrassed. But saying it and feeling it are very different things.

Surgery is an option - but my Dr. says to wait until after we have our second child... why spend time and money to fix what is going to get misplaced again anyways? And I have to give my body a chance to settle in at the weight its going to stay at. Not to mention, surgery is expensive!

For now, I will try to take walks to the parks instead of drive, I will try to park further away instead of in handicap, and I will try to do strength training with my bands when I can. But if anyone out there has any clue as to how to fit a square peg into a round hole (referring to all the things I have to do a day with the short time given to do it), I certainly would appreciate it.

Old faded blue jeans...

2008-04-06T10:49:00.002-05:00

I totally forgot to mention that two weeks ago, I fit into my old (10 years +), classic fit, faded blue jeans that I have been keeping forever! They are size 18 and I am more of a size 16 now in todays fashions. I had such a hard time getting them on over my tush when I went to size 18 - I was disappointed. But then I realized that jeans today fit very different for us women than they did 10+ years ago. So now that I am a size 16, I fit in them! I think I might actually be getting closer to a 14 at this point, but I haven't bought anything new since Christmas.

I cannot justify spending the money on clothes that will fit me for a moment in time. Although, it was 60 degrees here yesterday and we were out at the park. I needed a light coat so I tossed on my old wind breaker (size 30/32). I was swimming in it! I have to go get a new light jacket because it looked terrible on me.

ONEDERLAND!

2008-04-05T08:24:00.004-05:00

I DID IT! As of this morning, I am 199.8 lbs and down 134 lbs! I am now in ONE-DERLAND! It has taken me a little over 8 months to get here and a lot of hard work, and it certainly feels wonderful!!

It stinks being a woman...

2008-03-31T12:42:00.003-05:00

Even though I have Meridia (IUD), I still get my monthly visitor and I stillo get bloating and weight gain. Because of the recently installed device, my periods are irregular. I have had it now for almost 3 weeks off an on. So needless to say, I have been stuck at 202. I just cannot seem to get below 200 - get into the century club! People say I look much thinner that what the scales tell me and thats terrific, but I want the scale to say it as well. I am hoping to move into the 100's within the next week here. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Exercise... or not!

2008-03-03T13:45:00.001-06:00

This is my place to be honest...

I do not exercise formally. Who has the time? But if taking care of 2-4 children under 2 1/2 years old, running up and down the stairs (sometimes with 25 lbs of weight) at least 50 times a day, and going non-stop until 10 PM at night, counts as exercise, then I am QUEEN!

When the kids nap, I wash dishes, reset the room, check email, take the dog out, and maybe sit for a few minutes. I suppose I could work my therapy bands in during this time.

Once class calms down, licensing is over and done with, and I have most of the business things organized and all set, I could ride the bike or go for a walk in the evening, alone (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) or with Ms. Shelby and Mr. Weiss. Ahhh... I never said this when I was very heavy - but I desperately want spring to arrive.

Who'd have thought??

2008-03-02T15:55:00.001-06:00

When I started on this journey, I made a list of all the things I hope to be able to do again after I lose the weight. One thing that never crossed my mind is shaving my legs...

At some point, I didnt have to move anything out of the way to get to my legs.

At some point, it started taking me less time to shave my legs.

At some point, I didn't have to hold my breath to shave my legs.

Now... why is it that I don't shave my legs more often? *grin*

Did I mention...

2008-02-28T21:59:00.001-06:00

That my dear husband can get his arms all the way around me and then some for a wonderful hug? Oh my goodness, that is the most amazing thing. I didnt even realize before that he couldnt and that his embrace felt different. But now that we are here at this moment and he can, I long to be in his arms more and more. I wonder if he notices that I am constantly trying to get into his embrace. I wonder if he notices the small changes in me...

Embarrassed

2008-02-28T21:33:00.002-06:00

I am finding that I am embarrassed lately by my weight loss. People notice, complete strangers that I have lost a ton of weight. They make comments and I brush them off flippantly. I say, Oh I lost so much weight because I had surgery. Like I didn't have to do anything! The surgery was a tool, but I did the work, right?

This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Yet I find myself scrunching down a bit more to hide from comments. Why am I not feeling proud?

Strange muscle pains

2008-02-25T20:36:00.003-06:00

Today I am 7 months post op, down 122 lbs and for the most part, feeling better than I have since high school. I will post a picture taken yesterday of Shelby and I at the circus that shows my weight loss. Pretty amazing.

Mom mentioned today she thinks I am getting too thin, but how can that be if I am not even under 200 lbs yet!

Today I went to the lab to have blood drawn to test all my levels post op, test my thyroid levels and my cholesterol. Obviously the results aren't back yet so I dont know if the strange muscle pains I am feeling in my upper legs is from a deficiency or something else. But it started a few days ago at a dull roar and now has worked up into a pretty intense pain. So bad that I packed up Shelby to go to the Target to get out and walk to stretch, thinking that might help. I took a hot bath and asked DJ to rub my legs as hard as he could. Nothing seems to have helped. I haven't tried tylenol yet, will try that when I am done here.

I just hope that my muscles arent deteriorating or eating themselves or something. I still hear horror stories about WLS and even though my surgery has gone very well and my recovery even better, whose to say something cant go wrong this far down the road.

On another note, one of my classmates (in my Introduction to the child Care Profession class) also had WLS 3 years ago! She was over 400 lbs when she started and is now 260 pregnant with her first child. She intends to have cosmetic surgery to remove lose skin and fix other annoying areas, but because of the unplanned pregnancy, now has to wait. It is nice to meet someone so much further post op.

117 Lbs Lost

2008-02-10T08:26:00.000-06:00

As of this morning, I am down 117 lbs. I feel pretty good usually and seem to tolerate more than other post ops. I am 6 months post op and usually get my protein and my water intake in. I usually get my multi-vitamin and my thyroid medicine in, but sometimes forget to take the B1 and Calcium later in the day. I am learning through trial and error what is tolerable and how much. For instance, I love BBQ potato chips. Before surgery, I would sit and eat the whole bag, or darn near close to it. Now, as a treat, I grab a bag and eat a few chips, slowly, savoring the flavor. I can eat about 14 chips or so before I start to feel sick. So the surgery has helped me learn moderation and self-control.

When I look down at my legs, they no longer look like my legs. The bones stick out and everything is beginning to become quite lean. I can feel my hips and they stick out a bit now. I am in no way skinny nor am I under 200 lbs yet, but I feel like a changed woman and would be content with the weight I've lost so far, if I were to stop losing weight now. However, I hope to lose another 51 lbs, and my dr. hopes for me to lose another 41 lbs. I think the next lbs will come off much more slowly, and it will be harder for me to get it off. If only I can get workouts in every day or a few times a week. I am so busy though working, running the household, taking care of shelby, going to school, and working towards licensing, that its hard for me to get any time for myself.

I am at home now; I run a Home Daycare and get to spend all my time with Shelby. Its a lot of hard work and I am currently going through the licensing process. Also, I am back in class again at Gateway Technical College. Right now I am taking the classes required for licensing, but they can be applied to a degree in Early Childhood Education. There are many classes they offer that sound interesting and I might just take those for now. Once I run out of classes to take that are fun, I will see where I am at and determine then if I should apply for the degree program (and transfer the credits) or just stop. It would be nice to have an associate teaching degree, and it will take me many years going part time one or two classes at at ime, but I have no intentions of working as a teacher - at this point. I'd like to have the knowledge to teach the children in my care and offer the parents a high quality choice for child care. But things always change, so we will see where this goes.

I miss Discover a lot. Talking and laughing each day, hearing how everyone is doing, going out to lunch... My life is very different now. I laugh each day, a lot, and we do a lot of talking... but I miss the adult interactions during the day. I do not miss the commute, FOR SURE. But I miss my boss and the feeling of being needed and respected for my hard work.

I don't write much here because I forget about the blog a lot and I am not sure anyone is reading other than me anyways. If you like to read my blog, let me know by leaving a comment!

Almost 80 lbs today

2007-10-16T20:11:00.000-05:00

This morning I was down 79 1/2 lbs! That's almost 80! Today I wore a dress I haven't worn since 1999 when I worked at the AVMA. I felt very self-concious, mostly because of the style of the dress (might have been a bit dated), but I felt thin and even when I sat down, I didnt feel like I was spilling out all over the place. People didn't make as many comments as I thought... so I was even more nervous that I was outdated!

HOORAY for me for fitting in a dress from 1999!

Goal Weight Update

2007-10-11T06:39:00.001-05:00

I met with my primary care physician last week. He was very happy with my weight loss and my overall health. Though my thyroid levels are still screwy, that was to be expected.

We discussed at length mygoal weight. I want to be skinny, not overweight. With how tall I am (5'10") and my large bone structure, I was thinking 155 would be wonderful. Coming from 333, that is more than half less the person I was. However, Doc thinks that is being unrealistic. He says that I will have no problem getting to that goal weight, but I will not be able to stay there. He asked me what would happen if I didnt make it to 155 but instead made it to 175? I told him that I would be disappointed and would feel like a failure. He said, exactly! Why am I setting myself up to fail? Instead he would like me to shoot for 175-180, which would still be consider overweight, but no longer morbidly obese where I was prior to surgery. He explained to me that someone who is 15-20 lbs overweight but who eats healthy and lives an active life, is much healthier than a patient who is 115 and at the goal weight, but eats fast, greasy, processed foods, and doesn't take in a bit of fresh air and exercise.

So based on this inspiring conversation with the doc, I have adjusted my goal weight on my weight-O-meter and now have less than 100 lbs to lose! YEAH for me!

Checking in...

2007-10-09T21:13:00.001-05:00

Been a bit since I wrote...

Been busy working on the daycare business. Working on getting certified in Kenosha County, working on my name, logo, tagline, advertising, parent handbook, menus, and so much more. So much so that I feel a bit spread out. Not sure where to focus first!

Food is sticking a lot lately. I discovered Lean Cuisine meals seemed to do well and they are easy to take for lunch and to make for dinner. But the last two days, they are sticking something fierce. Going to switch to liquid diet again for a day or two, see if that clears whatever is upsetting the grouchy pouchy.

As of this morning I was down 73 lbs! I finally see the weight loss. How can I not with my clothes hanging off and fitting into a size 18 dress I havent worn since I worked at the AVMA in 1999! Another week or so, and I will be able to wear the dress to work! Won't they be surprised to see me in a dress. LOL

Have to get back to work.

2 Month Surgiversary!

2007-09-30T22:16:00.000-05:00

67lbs down at 2 months post op!

Almost 2 months surgiversary!

2007-09-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

Down 67 lbs as of this morning and thats with Aunt Fl visiting, I am hoping its closer to 70!

Last weekend I put my wedding dress on. Its been 3 years and I thought for sure I had lost enough weight to fit in it. But when I put it on, it was BIG! Mostly in the bust and the hips, but still... it was large. Sad and happy at the same time. I had hoped towear it around the house to feel like a princess for one more day, but I can buy another pretty dress or MANY pretty dresses when I get to my goal weight that make me feel just as much like a princess.

Had my follow up with the surgeon. I got my vitamin B12 shot and they are having me take in addition to the bariatric supplement, a disolvable calcium and a b1 (thaicin?). Cant take them together so have to spread them out throughout the day. The surgeon was VERY happy with how well my incisions looked and at how good I looked. She said my coloring was good and I seemed to be glowing. Glowing? I'm not pregnant, I am losing weight! LOL

Tomorrow will mark 2 months since going out to harvard for surgery. For sure, I am stopping everything to take pics. I need something to post so you all can see my progress and so I can see my progress thus far. I noticed my collar bones today. Also, my shoulders seem... sexy?

Shelby's birthday party was a hit! The kids went swimming, people played bocci ball and tossed bean bags... a good time was had by all. Shelby only took an hour nap that day, but she didnt fuss at all, even stayed up past her normal bedtime! She was a true angel and I was so proud of her. She also did real well with her cake, got lots of pics of that! AND OH MY - all the gifts she received! We truly are blessed to have such wonderful family and friends.

6 Weeks day 2 Post Op

2007-09-06T12:20:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't reported in. Life is crazy with trying to get ready for Shelby's BIG 1ST birthday party! Who'd have thought an Elmo themed party would be so much fun to plan! Then there is the house to clean - which is hard with a 1 year old in tow. I am learning that I have to be more flexible with some of my standards.

The cake is ordered, the food is ordered, grocery shopping has been done. I have to finish up the goody bags for the kids, a photo project of Shelby, I need more plates (in Elmos orange nose color of course), I have to iron the guest of honors adorable dress and make sure she has shoes to wear, and lots of other details. I sure hope someone will help with pictures, I dont want to miss this while I am busy in the kitchen or what not.

Tomorrow is her actual birthday. DJ, Shelby and I are going to celebrate with pizza and a little cake. We will try to go over to the park if it isnt raining. Then we have to do last minute things for the party. I am excited my little pudding pop is turning a year old especially when I see how much she has learned and grown (remember our little preemie of 4 lbs?). But I am also sad too. Its another year closer to when she will be all grown up and not need me anymore. It went by so fast and I wish I hadn't lost those pictures. I wish I had more time to spend with her, teaching her. I wish I hadn't been such a clean freak and let her feed herself. I wish that her HAIR WOULD GROW! Why dont we have any hair?????

But I certainly am proud of her. She is friendly, sociable, smart, clever, happy, funny, and just a wonderful little person to have in my life. I am the luckiest person on earth, for sure. DJ is very hands on, and truly LOVES spending time with her, doing things with her, and doesn't even think about or mind that he is on diaper duty, or feeding duty. A lot of fathers are hands off, but DJ is all HANDS ON! I love him more because of it. Shelby, hopefully one day, will realize just how lucky she is to have him as her father.

Weight Loss
*sigh* I am at 55 lbs. Its just not coming off as fast as it was and it is quite disappointing. I am told that if you dont get your protein in, it wont come off as fast because your body attacks your muscle instead. But I am also told that other people do not have to take in 80 grams or more of protein, they are supposed to intake 60 or so. If thats the case, most days I am making my protein intake then! I dont understand.

Food gets stuck and by the afternoon I have intense intestinal pains. I dont know why, but I am sure I am doing something wrong. Will have to look into this more after Shelbys party.

1 Month Post Op

2007-08-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

As of Sunday, I was down 53lbs! Thats more than 1/4 and slightly less than 1/3 of the total weight I want to lose! That is outstanding. However, I don't see it. I notice my clothes fitting differently and I think my shelf in the back is down, but when I look in the mirror I still see the very fat icky Tina. Which is weird, because for the longest time, I would look in the mirror, and see the skinny, active Tina from my younger days! Vicious circle.

Back to work is OK but hard. I get busy and lose track of time and realize I forgot a meal, or took a swig of my water, or whatever. I am not getting my protein in - I have to go back to the shakes. They aren't terrible tasting, why am I fighting going back? I am most definately getting all my water in and able to take bigger sips than before, though still not gulping.

My one incision still drains a bit - it tries to heal over but then a little hole pops up and fluid drains. How long does it take after all? Sheesh.

I am having a bit of a problem finding clothes to fit me. I dont have a lot in summer in the size I am in now, and things are starting to get big on me in this size now too. But the next size down is still too tight. I will make do and if I have to wear things multiple times in a week to work, then so be it. Let people say nasty things to me. I wish wash it first, so I wont be dirty. But come on, why would I spend money for clothes I will only get to wear for a moment in time, right? If they were in my shoes, they would agree, I think.

Lunchtime at work is hard. The smells are so wonderful, I want to jump out of my skin! Today someone had a calzone and it smelled like pizza and I want pepperoni pizza so bad! I know that pizza is what made me fat inthe first place, but everything in moderation, right? Alas, my grouchy pouchy won't let me.

I might be getting a stricture - but am not quite sure just yet. It seems the last few days that eating other than liquids, it gets stuck and makes me feel real bloated and icky. A stricture is when your body heals the place where the tube was connected to your new pouch. Your body thinks its suppose to heal it and it starts to close up. If it completely closes, you eat and it comes back up because there is no where else for it to go. I haven't had it come back up yet, but it seems like it is setting there for quite a long time, making me feel nasty. On the other hand, I got my period this week and that could be why everything is tasting weird and feeling weird this week. Have to see what they say in my support forum.

Alas, I dont know that I had any weight loss this week with my period. It doesnt appear that I've gained too much, so when all is said and done, maybe I can be at the 270 something mark. That sure would be nice! Havent seen that since our wedding in 2004! And seems Ive been stuck in the 280's for a few weeks now.

I really want to feel pretty for my brothers wedding at the end of October. I know the attention should be on the bride and groom, but I am tired of beign the fat one, the fat sister, the fattest one in the room. I want to be the pretty sister, the one on the dance floor whose husband won't let her sit, the one with the big smile on her face! Only two months left to get more weight off and get to a respectable size so that I can wear a pretty dress, instead of a Moo-Moo. Please - pray for me for this. KCs wedding is my first goal and I would like to be a size 20 (am a 26 now).

Remember I said exercise? WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT? I get up at 5 AM, leave for work at 6:15 AM, get to work by7 AM. Leave work at 3:30 PM, pick up Shelby at 4:15 PM, get home at 4:30 PM, and then need to feed her and such. Then DJ comes home at 5:30 PM and I usually have to do chores, or errands, or bills, or what not. Not to mention, I want to spend time with Shelby before she goes to bed. Then she goes to bed and I do thatother stuff. Then I am dog tired and asleep by 9 - 10 PM. If someone can tell me where to fit working out into that, I would sure appreciate it.

I should go for walks with Shelby, but quite honestly, she doesnt want to sit in her stroller. She wants to be out exploring and I dont blame her. Shes curious about her world! Tonight we were playing in the backyard while daddy cleaned the pool and she was up and down her lil slide and just loving life! I cannot wait for her to have her bday next week so she can get new toys to play with. I think she is getting bored with whats in the house.

DJ is still being very supportive. He makes comments like, "Where is my skinny wife at?" and such... I know he is just playing with me. I haven't lost that much weight yet! I told him tonight I cannot wait for him to be able to pick me up. I hope he does it often to remind me of how far Ive come (when I get there).

Shelbys party is coming up so we have a lot to do this weekend to get ready. Mostly cleaning and getting prepared. But I am still stuck on the cake. I want a certain thing and Sams Club has rules and wont break them. A bakery is too expensive. So I am still searching for ideas.

Getting late here now... need to go unwind before I fall asleep. I will try to write more frequently so that I can journal how things are going better. Someday I want to be able to look back and see just how far Ive come.

PS: I will be posting a 1 month post op pic this weekend. Stay tuned!

28 days post op/Return to Work

2007-08-22T21:40:00.000-05:00

Today was the big day! I was so sad to leave Shelby, but excited to see my co-workers and see if they noticed a difference.

OH BOY they did! My one friend kept staring at me. She said she just couldn't get over how much I changed! I still don't see it, but on my one month surgiversary, I will take pics. Then maybe I will be able to tell the difference.

A lot of people were out on business travel or on PTO. It allowed me time to get logged in, scan through my emails, and visit with those that were there. There were a lot of questions, concerns, hugs, encouragement and exclamations. All in all, the folks I work with are a HUGE support to me and my weight loss. They seem to all be rooting for me and praying for my success. They tell me how proud they are of me that I am doing this! I truly am blessed to have such a great group of people in my life.

So many things changed in 1 month though! We have 4 MLPs, 2 transfer ins, and 1 transfer out. Two girls who were pregnant when I left I TOTALLY showing now and I got wonderful news about another pregnancy. While I was gone, they created a Pharmacy onsite! Its pretty neat. You can fill prescriptions or its also a drug store! Amazing.

How Did I Do?
Well - I didnt get all my water in, so I am busting my tush tonight to catch up. I didnt make my protein - I didnt have that shake. So tomorrow I am going to make a shake to take with me in traffic - that should help a lot. Also, I did great all morning with post it notes to remind me when to eat and when to stop drinking, but after the official lunch time, I totally forgot to eat! Then I ate while I chatted so I didnt chew, chew, chew. Then I drank too quickly after my meal! UGH! I was horrified. Tomorrow I have to do better ALL day.

The nice thing is I came home to a little girl who was so ecstatic to see me. It made my heart so full. Im the momma! When DJ came home, I went to the party store to order balloons and get supplies for the party, and then went for a manicure/pedicure. That certainly was nice.

All in all - it was a good day. I am definately exhausted and I definately wish I didn't have to work for a living. I wish I could be home with Shelby to ensure things are done the way we want. But starting Monday, she will go to Julies and hopefully she will be nurtured with learning activities and love.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

27 Days Post Op

2007-08-21T20:58:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I return to work. I have enjoyed my time off with Shelby immensely. I am very sad about having to return now.

We never found a sitter for in our home. We have decided to put Shelby in an in-home daycare in our subdivision.

I am still only down 48 lbs. I do very well with water, and not so good with protein. I have to step up the shakes again, that will help.

I am going to be signing up for two classes at the RecPlex, Cycle and Step for Plus size. Once a week each for 15 weeks. See how that goes.

I haven't written in awhile because I was busy with interviewing childcare candidates via phone and in person. Then when that didn't work out, I was busy figuring out what to do. After that was worked out, I was trying to enjoy the remainder of my time off (two days) with Shelby. Its amazing how different things are in our relationship when I am home with her each day. She is so smart and she learns so quickly. She just needs someone to work with her.

We bought more sign language DVDs and have begun watching them. Today, I think, Shelby signed for the first time. I asked her, "Do you want to eat?" and she signed, "eat." But then when we sat down to feed her, she didn't want it. *shrug* You win some, you lose some I guess.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

20 days Post Op

2007-08-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

I am learning what I can tolerate and so far so good. Its much easier to get protein in when you aren't eating liquids only. Today I bought a lean ground turkey breast pattie that had 20 grams of protein, 1.5 grams of fat, and 0 carbs. It did have 430 grams of sodium, which I believe is high, but I'd have to look it up. Anyhow, I had DJ grill himself a burger and me the turkey burger with cheese. I weighed it after cooking and it was 3 1/8 ounces. So I was able to cut the burger up into very small pieces and then chew, chew, chew. It was wonderful!

I still do not feel full or hungry, so its important for me to measure everything.

I also bought fudgescicles today. People on the support board keep talking about how they eat them with no problems even though they cannot tolerate sugar. So I decided to try the no sugar added kind, that have 2 grams of sugar and 2 grams of sugar alcohol. I had one this evening (not as a meal, but as liquid) and it was wonderful. So far, so good.

Although I do not want to revert back to old eating habits such as foods high in carbs and sugars and sodium, I cannot live on liquid alone, not for another two weeks! Other people with different surgeons are on puried diets or back on solids at this point. But I want to do whats right. So I make sure to chew, chew, chew until its basically mush.

The hardest thing in the world is to not drink for 20-30 minutes before and not drink for 30 minutes afterwards! Try it! You will see! The reason you shouldnt drink afterwards is because with less of my small intestines and just a little pouch, the organs need time to absorb the nutrients from my meal. Because WLS patients eat smaller portions (currently 4 ounces), they determined it takes about 30 minutes for all absorption to be complete. I am so darn used to drinking with my meals, its a hard habit to stop.

I've been trying to distract myself after meals. I've been doing phone interviews, or cleaning something, or playing with Shelby for the 30 minutes afterwards. Otherwise, if I sit and watch the clock, I grab the liquid.

One incision is still healing. It drains daily, have to keep it covered. All other incisions are looking real good.

I am donating a few clothing items that are too large now. Made some room in my closet. I am fitting in the next size down clothes now and two sizes I can can get on, but don't look as nice as I'd like.

Childcare Update
SUCKS! Still haven't found anyone we like for at the house. One we would consider already accepted another position. Interview tonight cancelled. Two interviews tomorrow. I was hoping to train 1/2 day AM on Friday, 1/2 day PM on Monday, full day Tuesday and Wednesday I return to work! At this rate, I will be lucky to get 1 day of training in. Both candidates tomorrow night I really liked on the phone. Keep your fingers crossed.

Exercise Ideas

2007-08-12T21:52:00.000-05:00

I want to remember all my ideas of things I can and maybe like to do that would be considered exercise. I will edit this as I go along:

Ride Cycle
Walking tape
Walking outside
Swimming
Exercises in pool KC taught me
Weights
Stomach crunches
??

18 days Post Op

2007-08-12T21:44:00.000-05:00

The pain turned out to be gas - OUCHIES!!

Today was a good productive day. But tonight, I am a bit down in the dumps. I miss food. I miss going out to dinner. I miss drinking with food. I miss going to the movies and having popcorn. I miss being hungry. I dont want to put myself in a party situation, I cant eat! What will I do while everyone else is eating? I am getting sick of pudding, jello, applesauce, broth, cream of this or that soup, and mostly getting sick of my protein shakes. I didnt do good this weekend with protein, but I got all my water in. I think I am in a rut.

On the brighter side, I tried on and fit into clothes I havent fit into since 2005. I am already planning my outfits for my return to work. I know they won't fit for long since I am losing so rapidly, so Iwant to get my use out of them now. Some things I tried on I can get on, but still need to lose a few more before they are appropriate to wear. Either way, that was fun and took a lot of my energy.

I think I need to do something for me. Maybe a salon day... get my highlights done (my roots are terrible), get a trim, eyebrows, manicure, pedicure. *sigh* But those things cost $$... If only money grew on trees... Have to find something else to do for me.

Exercise Plan this week!
Must exercise Daily
Day 1: Ride Cycle
Day 2: Go for 1 mile walk
Day 3: Ride Cycle
Day 4: Go for 1 mile walk
Day 5: Ride cycle
Day 6: Go for 1 mile walk
Day 7: Ride cycle

I should be able to go swimming by next weekend. That will be exercise too. Also, making an appt. at the RecPlex to be shown the correct way of using the equipment. DJ says he is interested too. Shelby can go to the daycare or maybe her aunties next door will watch her for an hour.

16 days Post Op

2007-08-10T22:18:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am in a lot of pain. My left side is hurting, striking pain near my rib cage on the side. Not sure what it could be, but I am going to rest and see what happens. If pain isn't gone soon, I will call surgeons office. I dont want to take any chances with my new tool.

14 days Post Op

2007-08-08T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day, though I am exhausted. Just doing a little bit wears me out.

Shelby had a playdate today with Carine's children, Jake and Jillian. They are 19 month old twins and we all had a nice time. I hope we can make it a regular thing, I felt very comfortable with Carine. The twins knew sign language pretty well, and I intend to step up working with Shelby on it as well.

After that we went to Sams Club to pick up the invites and then OfficeMax to buy envelopes. We came home afterwards and spent the day playing in the family room.

We had a 6:30 interview for the sitter position with an older woman who had previous nanny experience. Although she is a smoker and she talked over me, I wanted to meet her in person. She never showed and never called. Blows my mind.

I had more calls to return, emails to respond too (I've posted on Craigslist and I've also been using gonannies.com as a resource) and I did one phone interview with a woman named Debra who lives in Waukegan. She has lots of experience; her own children, foster children, and she adopted two of her foster children. She has grandchildren and used to be a preschool teacher for 20 years. She sounds nice and I booked an interview with her for Friday.

Tomorrow we are going to see the Renaissance School in Mt. Pleasant. It is a creative curriculum based program and is on the way to DJs work. It more than we can afford probably, but we need to explore all of our options. I fell in love with the school from the website. Also tomorrow we have another interview with a younger girl who has experience. Although Courtney soured us on younger girls, there was no reason for me to not ask her to come in for a face to face meeting.

Today I made all my goals. I got 64 ounces of water in, and I got at least 60 grams of protein in. I havent weighed myself today because I am becoming a bit obsessed with the scale so I am moving it to once every two days.

I did take too big of a sip today of water and felt my pouch for the first time. It hurt pretty bad actually, but eventually went away. That pretty much taught me not to gulp. Also, I am realizing that drinking from a water bottle causes more gas in my pouch than from a cup. I will most likely make it a habit to drink from a cup to avoid unneccessary pain.

My goal for the remainder of the night is to get envelopes addressed, stuffed, stamped, and sealed. Don't worry, I will enlist the help of Mr. DJ to ensure I get it all done.

13 days post op

2007-08-07T22:55:00.000-05:00

Its so hard to watch people eat normal food, even if its food they shouldn't be eating. I should stay quiet, but I can't help pointing out the salt, calories, fat, carbs, etc... in what they are eating. I should learn that when people are eating around me, to remove myself from the situation. If I dont know they are eating one of my favorite snacks pre-op, then it won't bother me so to sit there and watch them and then ask for just one taste.

So far things are going OK. I was dog tired today. We were hit by bad storms last night and Bailey has a phobia so she drove me nuts. Shelby slept till 9 AM - so unlike her but I was thankful. Still, all day I was dragging and was dog tired. I even fell asleep on the couch while she was playing in her kitchen. I kept waking up because I was afraid she would "escape" and get hurt. Thankfully DJ came home a few minutes later and I had to straighten up house so we could meet the first sitter in person.

Rebecca came by tonight. 21 years old, on the waitlist for the radiology program in Madison. She says its about 2 years out. We like her, but aren't sure because she wont be staying. Course, none of our others have stayed long, have they?

Tomorrow Shelby and I go to a friend of mines I met on mamasource.com. She has twins, a boy and a girl, 19 months old. Shelby will have a playdate and I will chat with Carine. I am looking forward to getting out of the house other than errands and talking to someone who understands what I am going through with the child care situation. She is having the same issues for her twins.

Shelby's invitations should be out in the mail tomorrow at the end of the day. Thank goodness that will be done. One more To Do off my ever growing list. Elmo Party, here we come.

People at work have been emailing me. Its amazing how incoming mail brightens your day. Their words of encouragement are wonderful. Its nice to work somewhere that you feel part of a family. People sincerely care about each other.

Early day tomorrow, so I best be off to bed.

12 days post op

2007-08-06T22:12:00.000-05:00

Today went by very fast for me.

Shelby slept a tad later which afforded me time to sleep a bit later. I was on Shelby duty all day by myself for the first time post op. I was quite worried about it, but too proud to tell anyone my feelings. We played, had breakfast, played, watched Sesame Street and Barney. She had a bottle and decided it was time for a nap.

11:30 AM- 1:45 PM she napped. Whereas I checked email, worked on childcare situation, etc... I was about to get up and grab a shower when the door bell rang. I was in no condition to answer the door, so I ignored it but went to see who it was. Imagine my surprise when I found out Gina, our sitter we just fired, was at the door. I didn't answer and she rang again. 5 times she rang the door, all the while, Bailey is barking and I am hiding trying to get Bailey to be quiet so she doesn't wake the baby. She called on the phone, she called my cell. What the heck?

She finally left and I hopped in the shower. I was a bit freaked out though. I mean, I fired her because she put my daughter in an unsafe situation, lied repeatedly to me, and broke all of our house rules. Granted I was nice about it, but it doesn't mean I want to be your friend!?! Needless to say, I locked the door to the bathroom and kept one eye open while I showered.

After I showered, I made a few calls and then called Gina. She tells me she has something for me and can she bring it over now. Umm... no! I am home from work trying to recouperate with a new lifestyle and heal, all the while I am caring for Shelby because of the predicament she put me in and she wants to come over for a visit? I was in no mood. I told her so. I told her I have very little energy and I expended it on my shower. But that wasn't good enough. She wants to come tomorrow. I told her we had plans. She asks about Wednesday. UGH! What does she want? I asked her what it was, she said it was a surprise. So I said OK to Wednesday. But DJ doesnt like the idea of her coming over when no one is home but me, so he is having me change it. Unbelievable!!

Should I be worried? Wisconsin has very strict stalker laws. Maybe I should just let the police know? Oh she also came over on Sunday. DJ and Mom were watching shelby and relaxing, I was taking a nap. Gina came over and she said she wanted to see what DVDs we had so she could make a list of what movies she wanted to rent from NetFlicks! What??? Is she mental? Then she asked if she could talk to me and DJ told her I was sleeping. He told her to Call me tomorrow. What a basket case. Who does this after they have been fired? I am worried that when I find a replacement, she will come over and bother the replacement. What if she bullies her way into our home and tries to do something or take Shelby? Man - its like a lifetime movie network deal and its got me kinda freaked out.

So I am not losing any more weight. I have been at 40 since Saturday I think. Nothing has happened. I dont understand. The weight loss stall is suppose to come much later, and not at all if you are exercising. So whats the deal? I mean, I am on a liquid diet. Unless I am blending dairy queen and burger king in my sleep, I should be losing weight. I am intaking far less than 500 calories a day!

I took Shelby out front today to play with her car. She basically walked on the sidewalk in front of our house and both neighbors houses. Both came out to see her while we walked. I didn't realize how humid it was outside, we both were dressed for winter because of how cold our house is and we both were soaked 20 minutes later when we went in. But she seemed to enjoy herself and I got a bit of walking in like I should. Tomorrow, I might try to walk her around the block in her stroller.

Today, I got in my liquid, but didnt get in my protein. This is because I never made myself any protein shakes. I am looking for other products to boost my protein intake and have a list of places to call for free samples. But somehow I need to focus on now and get that 60 grams in EACH day. Sometimes I think I am so weak.

11 days post op

2007-08-05T20:55:00.000-05:00

Not a lot to update on today. I mostly slept. I slept late, I took a nap, and went grocery shopping with DJ. I didnt get my water or my protein in at all today, not even close. Tomorrow should be a better day.

10 days post op

2007-08-04T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today I relaxed a lot in the morning. DJ and Shelby went to swim class without me and I stayed in bed and then did some research on the computer. After they came home, I went down to make DJ lunch and feed Shelby. For the most part, still taking it easy.

In the afternoon, we went to Strudivant to meet a potential childcare provider. I got very sick there. Sweating, weak, lightheaded... so bad I had to have DJ drive home - if you know me well, you know I don't normally let DJ drive. He frightens me.

After talking it over with the support group and the DOC, we think it was hypoglycemia. I hadn't eaten in several hours and I was way overdue. Considering I hardly get much in at this stage to begin with, every meal counts.

The rest of the evening I was tired and lethargic.

Today I consumed 62 grams of protein and so far 45 ounces of water. Currently working on sip, sip, sip to meet my 60 ounces of water.

Also, I learned today, that no matter what I do, I will lose my hair. This upsets me, but I guess its for a good cause. One person said that it was more of a thinning of the hair and that if she didn't point it out, others wouldn't have known. But others said it was noticeable.

If you see me around end of Oct. or after, and you notice my hair loss, please don't tell me!

Childcare Update: 4 Calls from the ad in the paper. Interviewed 1, don't think its a good fit. Went to meet one for watching in her house; her house is not prepared for babies. No childproofing and not a lot of room. The search continues...

Reasons to lose weight

2007-08-04T00:19:00.001-05:00

This is going to be an ongoing list. As I think of more, I will add to it.

Not be the largest person when I enter a room
be able to shop at non-plus size stores
go on vacation and not dread the plane ride
be able to buy a car I like and not one that "fits" me
be able to give myself a pedicure
be able to play with Shelby
live longer
go on rollercoasters
go on cruises and experience excursions
buy pretty bras and panties
more confidence
lead more active lifestyle; goodbye couch potato
have an easier pregnancy
help health conditions such as asthma, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, back pains, etc...
Make new friends; food no longer my friend
Wear shorts again
gardening
be able to cross my legs
to use the turnstyle door at work instead of the handicap entrance
Fit in seats at concerts, ball parks, plays, etc...
So Shelby and DJ aren't embarrassed of me
To be able to sit in a booth at a restaurant
for DJ to carry me over any threshold
To be able to wrap a towel around me without a HUGE gap
To go to waterparks
to be able to take the stairs instead of the elevator
For people not to stare at me in the grocery store, evaluating what's in my cart and looking at my size.

9 Days Post Op

2007-08-03T21:58:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty good day. I had plenty of me time and even had a long nap after daddy got home.

My dad stayed the night so when the baby woke up in the AM, he changed her, dressed her, gave her breakfast and entertained her pretty much all morning. This allowed me to sleep in (til 7:45 AM), call work to check in, do a tab bit of research and check in on the boards with my fellow WLS peeps.

I needed to work on the birthday party invitations so my dad, Shelby and I went to the post office for stamps, went to Hobby Lobby to see what was up and went to OfficeMax where I purchased what I will be using. It is a relief to be going in a direction with the invites at this point. Hopefully I will have a productive weekend.

Food wise today I havent done well. Actually, I havent eaten anything except two protein drinks (56 grams of protein) and cream of chicken with 1/4 cup of shredded cheese melted into it (8 grams of protem). But this is however, the first day I got in all my required protein at this stage (60). I have drank only 50 ounces of the 60 required for the day, so I am going to continue to sip, sip, sip until I go to bed. I even wrote everything down in my food log - step 1 of getting control of this.

I spent some time this evening trying to find the best deal for protein drinks online and for liquid protein to add to water so that I am getting in protein even when I am sipping water. I found out that a lot of these places will send you free samples, so you can try before you buy. I intend to be busy on the phone on Monday calling all the places I can find to get free samples. Wish me luck.

Daycare situation - I posted to craigslist; received a response from a woman in Sturdivant (north of us on DJs way to work) who seems very promising. We will be going tomorrow to meet her and see her digs. I researched daycares in our area last night and found this one called Renaissance School that I really like and has two locations: one near to the recplex where we intend to work out and one on DJs way to work. I called them but the person I needed to speak to wasnt there until Tuesday. They couldnt tell me what the cost is or if there are openings, so that will have to wait until then. I also placed the ad in the Kenosha News. It will run Sat/Sun this week and next. It usually is a lot of calls without a lot of good leads, but at this point, I am desperate. Additionally, a mommy I met on mamasource.com who has 18 month old twins and lives near me, might be interested in a nanny share situation.

8 days post op

2007-08-02T18:23:00.000-05:00

WOW! I can wear my wedding rings again! I haven't worn them since before Shelby was born and today, they fit.

I drove an hour out to Harvard to see the surgeon instead of waiting another week to go to Libertyville because I thought my largest incision was infected. The Dr. was behind so I was there for 3 1/2 hours. Plus the ride home. I sipped water the entire time and was not hungry at all, but I missed two meals and a protein shake. I surely felt it when I arrived home. I was dog tired.

My incision looks OK and not infected, though it doesn't look like the other ones. Otherwise my chest and my stomach all sounded terrific. My weight at the Dr.s office matched that of the scale at home, so thats good.

I was under the impression that a puree diet would begin today for me... I misunderstood. Now begins two weeks of a high protein liquid diet. What this means is I can add low fat (lf) cottage cheese, lf ricotta cheese. I can add peaches and pears but they have to be mashed. I can add baby food chicken, Stage 1. I don't recall any chicken in stage 1 when Shelby was there. I will have to take another look. You add it to broth I guess. But I can have lf creamed soups now and add lf or no fat (nf) shredded cheese to it. That sounds yummy! Something else that will change, at least for now... A his, hers, and Shelby shopping list. Might make grocery shopping a bit more expensive than before.

I am really very lucky to have such a wonderful support group. My husband is a gem, my parents and in-laws are invaluable, and my friends and co-workers are my personal cheerleaders! I can't tell them how much it means to me.

Tonight I need to focus on finding a new sitter or day care situation for Shelby. A couple of weeks will fly by and I will return to work. I need to ensure all bases are covered and we are ready. Also, I need to work on invitations for Shelby's 1 year party. My original plan is out the window, there just isn't enough time or energy. So I have to figure out something else and quickly.

Shelby has had a fever all day today. Motrin brings it down, but she is still not her self. I know its from teething that she has this fever, and its hard to get upset with her when she fusses ALL DAY, ALL WEEK. On the other hand, I need to rest and recouperate. Dr's orders. I feel torn between myself and Shelby... I wonder who wins!

7 days Post Op

2007-08-01T18:04:00.000-05:00

Today is a much better day emotionally.

Shelby, I believe, caught something from me being in the hospital, or we both have it and it explains a lot of why I feel the way I do. She is quite unmanageable today, and even though Grandpa came up to help out, she is clinging to me instead. This is proving difficult in getting anything done with regards to my research, 1st Birthday Party planning, or paying the bills.

I have an appt. with the surgeon tomorrow AM. It bothers me that I have to go all the way back out to Harvard because she only has office hours 1x every other week in Lincolnshire. I should have asked the hours when I was choosing my surgeon.

I took a shower today and shaved. I removed one suture closing bandaid thingie today, from the smallest incision on the right. I need to work off the one covering the big one on the left, because they will want to see it closely tomorrow. It looks inflamed, infected and swollen. It also hurts where the others do not.

Today I am down 34 lbs. This includes the two 2-week liquid diets I had to do prior to surgery on 7/25/07. I dont look any different, and I don't feel any different. My clothes surely dont fit any different, but I havent really tried anything on other than comfy lounge clothes anyways.

Bruising has started on all of my incisions, some worse than others. I expected it, no big deal.

Aunt Flo has left the building, so that makes life a little better as well.

Today I haven't gotten any headaches as of yet. I just wish the surgeons office had been more specific about what meds I could take post op. I had no idea that Ibuprofren was a no-no and could hurt the pouch.